Changes
Sunday, 29 December 2013 // 22:44
So many things have changed. And it's kicking in now more than ever.
Unlike any other years of my life, 2013 had been truly full of ups and downs. It has been year which I truly mature and learn more about myself, learn about how reality is always harsher than it always seemed to be and learn who are the ones who will be there for me whenever I need them like they always do and not just words, and more words. Empty words have been more bitchy than it could ever be.
In 2013, I closed a major chapter in my life and moved on to a new one in months. The pace of my current life is somehow scaring me more than I have known and expected. I always thought that things were still within my reach, but it seems that reality proved to me I am wrong from the start. Everything is just so out of my control. Everything is changing so fast that I can hardly catch a breath. It's just so hard to be who I am anymore since I don't know which side of me is actually the true me any longer.
Just 2 more days, 2013 will then come to an end. Hopefully, this emotional roller coaster will come to an end too.
Till then.
People change. Something that I hate but it seems like I am not excluded in this category in anyways. But some just changes too fast and I don't know how to handle them any longer. I really want to tell you the truth, but I am scared and maybe insecurity is just setting in. I'm sorry.Labels: Thoughts
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Times like this.
Thursday, 31 October 2013 // 19:11
Time waits for no one.
It's been months since I enter a new chapter of my life. And yeah, the first peak period is here. It's finals in less than a months time and I am definitely so screwed for it. I can hardly catch up with my readings and all the assignments are still piling uppppppppppp!!!! Time to put away all the emotional shit and concentrate on my studies. The "mugger" in me need to come out.
All the best for the first finals to anyone who read this random post.
Till then.
Labels: Finals, School
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A Different Side. The Unwanted Side.
Tuesday, 15 October 2013 // 17:25
There is this side of me, where I can talk to family and friends like there's no tomorrow, have fun whenever the situation is meant to be or even have one to one talks to lend my listening ear to anyone of you out there. Yes. Definitely, I enjoy doing all those things when I am doing them. Got to admit I am a people-person, who actually relies on company a lot. I love to interact with people, spending quality time with my loved ones or even people I just met within months. However, it has come to a point that the other side of me is actually overpowering this side of me.
Nowadays, I just got so worn out sometimes.
It is to the extent that I feel like isolating myself in my room, free from every obligations out there, be it school, family, or even just socializing. It has come to a point where I rather go back to my poly-uni break, where I spent most of the time alone, just "hanging out" with my MacBook Pro or iPad Mini and watch all the shows I can all day long cause I just don't have the mood to do anything but I know well enough I don't have a choice. There is just too much things happening around me and commitments I am obligated to. Sometimes, I really got no solution for some of the problem and I just can't help it but feel helpless.
On top of that, I really don't know how to treat the people around me any longer and I guess, some people just grew tired of me. I know well enough for not being expressive enough sometimes, but that's just me. Maybe it's because I am behaving differently from the usual me that people see cause I hardly spoke up of my personal thoughts as comparison of talking about other stuff. Keeping my thoughts to myself is a fact of mine which has never changed since forever. Somehow, that's when people drift apart from me. Maybe, this is just an example which I can spot the root of the problem but has no solution to it.
Ranting done. Back to work. Trying to get back the other side of me, in order to survive.
Till then.
Labels: Thoughts
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Hang in there.
Thursday, 3 October 2013 // 19:38
This post is dedicated to my friend out there, you know who you are.
I know it has been hard on you these day having to face so many things all at one go at your least expected timing. Personal troubles here and there that is accumulating day by day, and nothing just seems to be so right. It may sound like a political correct answer for whatever you are facing you and you probably hate what I am going to say, but I can tell you, it's part of growing up and you got to face the reality and handle them.
Who doesn't want a life where everything is all-so-smooth sailing and nothing goes wrong?
That's all just a perfect life that everyone desires even though we all know it's impossible. No matter how perfect one seems to be on the surface, everybody faces our own set of problems. We are all human and we all have up and down in life. That's life. And that's part and parcel of growing up, being an adult. You got to learn how to discipline yourself and face the problems instead of just acknowledging their presence. Sure enough, not everything is within your control. However, you can make things better for yourself by dealing them one at a time, at the very least, for the things that are within your control. We are all here for a reason and I am pretty sure you know who are the "all" I am referring here. Even though we may not know you as long as your other friends out there, but no matter what, we are here. Keep that in mind. You are definitely not alone no matter how others may perceive you as a person. The most important thing is to be yourself.
Who said life is easy?
I know, and I understand how sucky one can feel since I went through a similar period previously. It's a tough journey out but I made it and I am sure you can do it too. I have trust in you and you need to have more faith in yourself. Nobody holds control of our life, it's just a matter of how you look at things and manage them at the end of the day. Cherish what you have now and bother those who bothers. Don't let other people's thoughts or negative attitude gets to you. Prove their judgements wrong rather than becoming what they thought of you which is not even a fact in the first place.
Hang in there for those who bothers, those who cares for you. At the end of the day, just remember I will always be there if you need me. I am just a text or a knock away. <3
Till then.
Labels: Friends, Thoughts
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A Break, For Myself
Monday, 16 September 2013 // 00:02
It's been six weeks. Things are definitely not getting any easier with all the readings, presentation and all sorts of commitments. It's a new environment for me and I am trying my best to adapt. Adapt to this new chapter of life which I did not even dream of since young.
Maybe I am being to naive at times, but honestly, I do not really like how things work here. Definitely, I meet nice people here and there. However, I really don't know who is genuine about it. I don't know how to judge and obviously hates to be judgmental. I hear stories here and there, and things actually seems to be worst off than what I know every single time.
It's just so hard to be myself here. I am tired of putting up the strong front. I just need a break, a break from all this shit.
Till then.
Labels: Friends, Thoughts
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Letting go.
Saturday, 13 July 2013 // 17:36
Sometimes, you tend to choose who to keep in your life, who you hold really close to yourself. At times like this, even when they did something you really hate and unreasonable, you will still use your best will to forgive them, trying your best to forget at the same time. Hoping you can really get over what they have done to you. However, things don't always go the way we want. It might be harder than you think for you to do so. Getting over is not always easy most of the time. What's worst off? The other party may not see you as what you see them as, thus not doing the same for you. "One way" or even "Ignorance" is really something sucky at all point of life. Everyone just want to be cared for, to feel special and to be treated the way they know they should be treated. Nobody likes to face rejection or be ignored for any reasons.
In life, there are things you got to learn from the various people you met. Everyone is unique thus everyone has something for you to learn. When things starts to turn ugly and the person is really turning your life upside down, it really means that it is time to let go, no matter how important they are in your life. It might sound a little self-centred, but always live your own life and not for others. Start loving yourself more and not over-thinking. Nevertheless, think for yourself more and live a life where you can enjoy the love from people who really cared and make an effort to stay.
Letting go might not be the best idea sometimes, but it's definitely something which might make your life better. Keep it as an option always.
Coming from someone who has been there, done that, and feeling so much better after putting all the shit to an end.
Till then.
Labels: Thoughts
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Turning back time.
Monday, 8 July 2013 // 17:46
You bound to have a time in life where things go the way you wanted. You would wish that time would stop there so that you can enjoy those moments over and over again. We all know that this is impossible, but we still secretly hope so. At some point in life, you would wish that there is a time machine out there.
Time really change many things in life. Be it yourself, or people around you. Family, friends or even relationship. Time is the only measure or us to see which of it matters and who stays in your life.
When it comes to people, there bound to be quarrels, conflicts and many other stuff due to differences. Sometimes, these can help to improve the relationship, but you have to acknowledge the fact that they can also make the relationship turn bad or make things different from what it should have been. There bound to be a time where we want to turn back time, where things were still in place that isn't any more now so that you can take back whatever you had said back then and prevent all these shit from happening. It's just a simple wish but can't be granted by anyone and all we can do is to keep the faith, and hopefully things might turn out the way it ought to be, again. Otherwise, I guess letting go and accepting the fact will be the best way out.
Life doesn't always go the way we wanted. Accept and cherish those who stayed and let go those who doesn't. At the end of the day, it's those who stay that matters, isn't it? Learn to love yourself more.
Till then.
Labels: Thoughts
0
comments | Leave a comment
Changes
Sunday, 29 December 2013 // 22:44
So many things have changed. And it's kicking in now more than ever.
Unlike any other years of my life, 2013 had been truly full of ups and downs. It has been year which I truly mature and learn more about myself, learn about how reality is always harsher than it always seemed to be and learn who are the ones who will be there for me whenever I need them like they always do and not just words, and more words. Empty words have been more bitchy than it could ever be.
In 2013, I closed a major chapter in my life and moved on to a new one in months. The pace of my current life is somehow scaring me more than I have known and expected. I always thought that things were still within my reach, but it seems that reality proved to me I am wrong from the start. Everything is just so out of my control. Everything is changing so fast that I can hardly catch a breath. It's just so hard to be who I am anymore since I don't know which side of me is actually the true me any longer.
Just 2 more days, 2013 will then come to an end. Hopefully, this emotional roller coaster will come to an end too.
Till then.
People change. Something that I hate but it seems like I am not excluded in this category in anyways. But some just changes too fast and I don't know how to handle them any longer. I really want to tell you the truth, but I am scared and maybe insecurity is just setting in. I'm sorry.Labels: Thoughts
0
comments | Leave a comment
Times like this.
Thursday, 31 October 2013 // 19:11
Time waits for no one.
It's been months since I enter a new chapter of my life. And yeah, the first peak period is here. It's finals in less than a months time and I am definitely so screwed for it. I can hardly catch up with my readings and all the assignments are still piling uppppppppppp!!!! Time to put away all the emotional shit and concentrate on my studies. The "mugger" in me need to come out.
All the best for the first finals to anyone who read this random post.
Till then.
Labels: Finals, School
0
comments | Leave a comment
A Different Side. The Unwanted Side.
Tuesday, 15 October 2013 // 17:25
There is this side of me, where I can talk to family and friends like there's no tomorrow, have fun whenever the situation is meant to be or even have one to one talks to lend my listening ear to anyone of you out there. Yes. Definitely, I enjoy doing all those things when I am doing them. Got to admit I am a people-person, who actually relies on company a lot. I love to interact with people, spending quality time with my loved ones or even people I just met within months. However, it has come to a point that the other side of me is actually overpowering this side of me.
Nowadays, I just got so worn out sometimes.
It is to the extent that I feel like isolating myself in my room, free from every obligations out there, be it school, family, or even just socializing. It has come to a point where I rather go back to my poly-uni break, where I spent most of the time alone, just "hanging out" with my MacBook Pro or iPad Mini and watch all the shows I can all day long cause I just don't have the mood to do anything but I know well enough I don't have a choice. There is just too much things happening around me and commitments I am obligated to. Sometimes, I really got no solution for some of the problem and I just can't help it but feel helpless.
On top of that, I really don't know how to treat the people around me any longer and I guess, some people just grew tired of me. I know well enough for not being expressive enough sometimes, but that's just me. Maybe it's because I am behaving differently from the usual me that people see cause I hardly spoke up of my personal thoughts as comparison of talking about other stuff. Keeping my thoughts to myself is a fact of mine which has never changed since forever. Somehow, that's when people drift apart from me. Maybe, this is just an example which I can spot the root of the problem but has no solution to it.
Ranting done. Back to work. Trying to get back the other side of me, in order to survive.
Till then.
Labels: Thoughts
0
comments | Leave a comment
Hang in there.
Thursday, 3 October 2013 // 19:38
This post is dedicated to my friend out there, you know who you are.
I know it has been hard on you these day having to face so many things all at one go at your least expected timing. Personal troubles here and there that is accumulating day by day, and nothing just seems to be so right. It may sound like a political correct answer for whatever you are facing you and you probably hate what I am going to say, but I can tell you, it's part of growing up and you got to face the reality and handle them.
Who doesn't want a life where everything is all-so-smooth sailing and nothing goes wrong?
That's all just a perfect life that everyone desires even though we all know it's impossible. No matter how perfect one seems to be on the surface, everybody faces our own set of problems. We are all human and we all have up and down in life. That's life. And that's part and parcel of growing up, being an adult. You got to learn how to discipline yourself and face the problems instead of just acknowledging their presence. Sure enough, not everything is within your control. However, you can make things better for yourself by dealing them one at a time, at the very least, for the things that are within your control. We are all here for a reason and I am pretty sure you know who are the "all" I am referring here. Even though we may not know you as long as your other friends out there, but no matter what, we are here. Keep that in mind. You are definitely not alone no matter how others may perceive you as a person. The most important thing is to be yourself.
Who said life is easy?
I know, and I understand how sucky one can feel since I went through a similar period previously. It's a tough journey out but I made it and I am sure you can do it too. I have trust in you and you need to have more faith in yourself. Nobody holds control of our life, it's just a matter of how you look at things and manage them at the end of the day. Cherish what you have now and bother those who bothers. Don't let other people's thoughts or negative attitude gets to you. Prove their judgements wrong rather than becoming what they thought of you which is not even a fact in the first place.
Hang in there for those who bothers, those who cares for you. At the end of the day, just remember I will always be there if you need me. I am just a text or a knock away. <3
Till then.
Labels: Friends, Thoughts
0
comments | Leave a comment
A Break, For Myself
Monday, 16 September 2013 // 00:02
It's been six weeks. Things are definitely not getting any easier with all the readings, presentation and all sorts of commitments. It's a new environment for me and I am trying my best to adapt. Adapt to this new chapter of life which I did not even dream of since young.
Maybe I am being to naive at times, but honestly, I do not really like how things work here. Definitely, I meet nice people here and there. However, I really don't know who is genuine about it. I don't know how to judge and obviously hates to be judgmental. I hear stories here and there, and things actually seems to be worst off than what I know every single time.
It's just so hard to be myself here. I am tired of putting up the strong front. I just need a break, a break from all this shit.
Till then.
Labels: Friends, Thoughts
1
comments | Leave a comment
Letting go.
Saturday, 13 July 2013 // 17:36
Sometimes, you tend to choose who to keep in your life, who you hold really close to yourself. At times like this, even when they did something you really hate and unreasonable, you will still use your best will to forgive them, trying your best to forget at the same time. Hoping you can really get over what they have done to you. However, things don't always go the way we want. It might be harder than you think for you to do so. Getting over is not always easy most of the time. What's worst off? The other party may not see you as what you see them as, thus not doing the same for you. "One way" or even "Ignorance" is really something sucky at all point of life. Everyone just want to be cared for, to feel special and to be treated the way they know they should be treated. Nobody likes to face rejection or be ignored for any reasons.
In life, there are things you got to learn from the various people you met. Everyone is unique thus everyone has something for you to learn. When things starts to turn ugly and the person is really turning your life upside down, it really means that it is time to let go, no matter how important they are in your life. It might sound a little self-centred, but always live your own life and not for others. Start loving yourself more and not over-thinking. Nevertheless, think for yourself more and live a life where you can enjoy the love from people who really cared and make an effort to stay.
Letting go might not be the best idea sometimes, but it's definitely something which might make your life better. Keep it as an option always.
Coming from someone who has been there, done that, and feeling so much better after putting all the shit to an end.
Till then.
Labels: Thoughts
0
comments | Leave a comment
Turning back time.
Monday, 8 July 2013 // 17:46
You bound to have a time in life where things go the way you wanted. You would wish that time would stop there so that you can enjoy those moments over and over again. We all know that this is impossible, but we still secretly hope so. At some point in life, you would wish that there is a time machine out there.
Time really change many things in life. Be it yourself, or people around you. Family, friends or even relationship. Time is the only measure or us to see which of it matters and who stays in your life.
When it comes to people, there bound to be quarrels, conflicts and many other stuff due to differences. Sometimes, these can help to improve the relationship, but you have to acknowledge the fact that they can also make the relationship turn bad or make things different from what it should have been. There bound to be a time where we want to turn back time, where things were still in place that isn't any more now so that you can take back whatever you had said back then and prevent all these shit from happening. It's just a simple wish but can't be granted by anyone and all we can do is to keep the faith, and hopefully things might turn out the way it ought to be, again. Otherwise, I guess letting go and accepting the fact will be the best way out.
Life doesn't always go the way we wanted. Accept and cherish those who stayed and let go those who doesn't. At the end of the day, it's those who stay that matters, isn't it? Learn to love yourself more.
Till then.
Labels: Thoughts
0
comments | Leave a comment
